102013 0329

Silence is the best remedy for a buzzing body
Energy wisps up and out
Blown out by the pure power of silence
Freeing and suffocating at the same time
fresh like anesthesia
a smoldering wick

82713 1224

I woke up with no heart,
It seems that I clawed it out in my sleep.

82713 0234

I don't want to sleep with the light off tonight,
Because I know you won't be there if I get scared of the dark anymore.

But sometimes we have to learn how to get over our fear of the dark own our own.

81813 0653

And I realize one of my issues,
One of my biggest things with depression
Is that my every day is an every day with multiple deadlines.
I have to wake up by a certain time,
Leave the house by a certain time,
Walk a certain speed to get to the bus stop by a certain time,
So I can get to work by my scheduled time.

God forbid my demons keep me up late.

62213 0023

time claims everyone eventually. time is an unjust ruler. time claims best friends, family, things that mean more than anything. a doll with pink frill. a tattered satin top. three years of time gone. time claims love. time claims the blossom of butterflies. time claims the innocent goodness of people.

time claims grief and sorrow. tears and silent screams. not so silent screams. time dries our cheeks and heals out hearts. time brings new opportunities.

after time took the old ones away.

31012 0435

holding my breath is easy
happens all the time
as if my lungs have given up
along with the rest of me

022513 0320

accepting that something is wrong
is the hardest thing I have done
I am scared I will relapse into hiding again

22513 0310

you saw the devil
you drank him away
you made me the devil
you drank me away

22513 0308

silent staring
i wish i could play an instrument
maybe i could figure out which note
would knock my brain back into place.
i am so scared.

22113 0313

please,
do not do what the others did.
i thought i knew you

21813 0537

i want to see how the spark will catch

from what i have seen it engulfs.

i want to know

what it is like to be

engulfed with a pain that isn't mental.

21813 0533

a metal fireplace
and the sweet smoke in your lungs
and the beer on your tongue.
doodlebugs,
and blaming the dog.
thrown away opportunities
the wrong cigarettes
a conversation forever for another day
is it really that much of a shame?

21813 0528

i feel downhill again

laying and staring and hoping for a flame

hoping for the little man in my brain

to pull the chain again and turn everything back on.

20513 1225

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IN ME
I do not believe you will find it.

20513 0207

you are resonation
you are rusted metal
you are a gate that will never close

you are pain
you are pain
you are pain

20513 0157

does it take liquor for you to fall asleep?

20513 0154

I will never stop wanting to know why.
The question will never stop reminding me
of the scars that you can see
as well as those you can not.