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I wake up drowning in you
Wrapped in the way you smell
Like hotel rooms on the coast
I wake up drowning in all the ways
You held me the night before
The way your hands held my heart up
When it grew heavy.
I knew it when I put my head down last night,
that I can live in a world without
knowing the feeling of your arms
wrapped around me,
But I hope I never have to go back
Because the way you hold me
Is within itself a simple at of selflessness,
You do not understand but
You also do not attempt to crack my ribs open.
You have become the extra light in color,
Saturating my life in a way that
I cannot gracefully put into words.
But I know the way you comfort me with gentle hands
quiets my thoughts and soothes my lungs
while everyone else was setting me on fire.

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you drown my demons
with the color of your eyes
and the creases of your smile.
you quiet their incessant groaning
with the soft resonance of your voice
when you whisper good morning
and
the warmth of your hands
reminds me to breathe again
and brushes the dust
from between my ribs.
this is for you
this is for you
this is for you

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God, if I could put into words
How badly sometimes
I need my skin between your teeth
and under your nails
Of course I enjoy gentle fingertips
and soft lips just as much
but sometimes I need to be reminded
that we are human
and that I can trust you.
Just as sometimes I remind you,
with hands on your throat
or fingers wrapped in your hair.
Hand on face, finger in mouth.
To be blind to your actions,
to be mute despite your touch.
It is as necessary to me
as loving touch is.
I'm so glad we share this.

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your chest on my cheek and

your legs under mine,

curled around me

hands warm on my back

like your lips

soft and hot on my own.

you awaken a field of flowers

in my stomach

blossoming all at once

and you tug at something in my chest

things i am no longer used to.

it has taken a while to trust that your teeth

won't break through skin

when you know i'm already close to shattering on you.

the colors that seep through

my skin the next day make me feel 

like your canvas

and i can only hope you will continue to 

give me your art and i will continue to inspire

because the way your hands feel on my neck

and my hips

and the way it feels to come undone on top of

or under

or beside you

is the most beautiful medium of art

i have ever been blessed enough to experience.
second only to the way you hold me afterwards.

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It is so nice to
curl into my bed
and look at new beginnings
beautiful apartments with balconies
imagining waking up
and curling up with the morning
I am so excited.

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is it loneliness that
buries itself within you and
causes you to latch on to
the first person to extend their hand to you?

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you pleaded
with hot breath into
my neck
stamping your proclamations behind
my eardrums.
now that you've gotten it
what will you do with it?

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it is very much
like the way the
ocean always fills the
void, leaving me breathless and
envious of those living on the shore
you leave me the same way.
overcome and waiting...
undone.

sometimes we must look past
the glassy surface of the water.

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I had forgotten that your face
was once familiar...
even memorized.
It comes as a shock
but nothing more
and that is even more
of a shock, that
that is all there is.

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Even when I'm folded into 

layers of frustration

I will still cling to you 

in my sleep

like a ripened fruit, 

ready to fall

why would i want that bruise?

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the hollow rings of ice cracking on a thawing lake

the tinkling of ice washing up and onto shore

calming, added to an already soothing song

the thunder of glacier giving birth

the anger of nature in complete silence 

the roar of fire caught by wind

crackling as it cleans

these are the sounds nestled behind my eardrums 

when i think of you

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You calm my waters
when you are near
and when you're gone
my ocean is angry
and dark

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You hold me in the way
I've always begged to be held.
No more yearning for intimacy,
I have it right here
In my arms.